If you’re anything like me, God help you. But if you are anything like me you’ve spent years alone in your room, crying over countless love letters written to ex-girlfriends who have long since forgotten you exist. In a lonely, vulnerable state, you accepted the Mayan prophecy as truth. You reached a pale arm into the hall closet you’ve stuffed full of psychopathic ramblings, slapped some postage on the first wad of paper you found, and before you can spell regret– disaster strikes. And not the natural kind. In fact, that’s the problem. We’re all still here, damn it. The love of your life now knows, without a doubt, that you are the creeper she thought you might be. And the world didn’t even end.
She can’t un-read what’s been read, but if you’re hurting, here are some steps you can take:
• Panic. It’s a natural response. Seems like a huge mistake now, doesn’t it? But the message has been sent. Don’t deny your feelings. Realize, though, that you finally said something you mean to a person who still means a lot to you. Speculating possible outcomes will do you no good. At this point, all you can do is..
• Accept what you’ve done. Give yourself some credit. Some people spend a lifetime trying to say ‘I love you.’ You’ve written it many, many, many times, and you’ve finally shared it. Well done!
• Don’t dwell on it. After all, dwelling on feelings is what got you here in the first place. You’re allowed to be scared, angry, upset, but you can’t fixate. If you’re having trouble with this one, be a real man. Pick up the bottle and drink the pain away. If you stick with it long enough, you’ll never feel again!
• Talk with her about it. Here’s your chance to be completely honest. If she files for a restraining order, at least you’ve found closure. You don’t know how this will go until you do it. She might even feel sorry enough to give you a hug. Then, my friend, the cycle begins again.
• Move on. Your heart was made to be broken. Pick up the pieces, glue the fuckin’ things back together, and throw the patchwork organ at the next beautiful girl you see. If you can wipe your eyes long enough, you might find someone that actually likes you. Chances are high that she’s barely holding herself together and you’ll be two peas in a very isolated, lonely pod! When this one ends..
• Write another love letter. You were going to anyway, and if you followed my advice you’ve certainly earned your lonesome.
If you know me at all, you know how much I love to bash on ‘merica. Thanks to our highly respected Yahoo.com, I read an article for once that made the nerd inside me proud. The name of the article is titled, “11 Ridiculous White House Petitions”. While “ridiculous” is debateable language, I most definitely approve of thiz message. Anyway, the most exciting petition which made number one on the list is, according to Yahoo:
“Secure resources and funding, and begin construction of a Death Star by 2016
Those who sign here petition the United States government to secure funding and resources, and begin construction on a Death Star by 2016.
By focusing our defense resources into a space-superiority platform and weapon system such as a Death Star, the government can spur job creation in the fields of construction, engineering, space exploration, and more, and strengthen our national defense.”
Total signatures: 1,428
To sign this petition yourself, sign here, for the love of all things Star Wars!…and to also mock the government. I get too much joy from this. Anyway….CLICK. GO. NOW.
Another amazing petition with even more signatures than the Death Star proposition is:
“Build a statue of Master Chief Petty Officer Spartan John-117 on the White House lawn”
“He deserves more praise for what he has done.”<—-That’s all the petition says. That’s all that really needs to be said. Good work, citizen.
Total signatures: 4,526
Here is the link to sign this petition. Get to it, nerds!
Continue reading Diary of a Nerdette: God Bless You, ‘Murica
Sara and Candace we will forever love you.
I just don’t know what to say. It all happened so quickly. For a moment we had Kevin Pereira, Sara, and Candace. Then it went to Sara, Candace, and random. Now it’s nothing; a black hole from 3pm-5pm everyday where I can watch gorgeous funny girls talk about the things I love. Since Pereira left the show was definitely not as good (Ceglia claims Pereira is the 2nd best host on TV) and there were rumors about this branding change, but it’s hard to accept. X-Play’s coverage of E3 and AOTS coverage of comic con were second to none and will definitely be missed. Not missed as much as Sara’s dirty gamer girl next to the girl-next-door type Candace Bailey. G4 plans to move to a more “more upscale, sophisticated guy TV space.” I’m sorry, but that’s not what I want. These shows will end in December with farewell episodes, host reunions, and of course ‘best of…’ segments. These were shows that gave shows like our podcast hope for what we could possibly be. AOTS and X-Play we be missed and hopefully someone picks up the talent that was behind these shows.
Greetings nerdlings, I hope you are all well. And yes, I am still alive, if you were wondering. I have recently managed to pull myself out of my spiraling “I-feel-sorry-for-myself” vortex of doom. In all seriousness though, great writing only comes when one is truely inspired. If despired is actually a word, I’m pretty sure I was that. I digress, no one cares.
Onto my point. So my inspiration for this article actually comes from how I was able to climb out of my spirally vortex of doom. How did I do that you ask? Yoga and meditation. Shut the fuck up, I know at least half of you are groaning and or facepalming. Let me explain myself.
As I was in the shower a bit ago after mostly successful yoga workout (unsuccessful in that I tried to headstand and got to eager and crashed into my desk), I was thinking to myself about yoga and in my mind, I replaced yoga, with Yoda. I called my practice Yoda.
If lightbulbs actually appeared above people’s heads when they had great ideas, this was one of those moments. Is it really just a coincidence that Yoda is only one letter off from spelling Yoga? Or am I just the last star wars fan ever to figure this one out? Either way, I thought about it more, as I started loving Star Wars even more.
As the informed know, Yoga is about complete control of mind, body, and spirit- to simplify it. It is about controlling negativity and bring positive energy to one’s being. You see where I am going with this, don’t ya? I realized I basically am practicing to become a Jedi! Both Jedi and Yogi’s (the colloquial term for one who practice’s yoga) practice control of what I have already mentioned. It’s about the ability to drown out negativity which is something I am well on my way towards. When I practice yoga, I feel in tune with everything around me and everything feels harmonious, much like a Jedi and the Force. I could also go on a linguistic rant about how I don’t think this is just a coincidence but I’ll spare you tears of boredom.
Continue reading Diary of a Nerdette: Yoga, Yoda…Wait, What?!
The nerds are uniting again (not just the J Team this time) for Comic Con 2012. We will be in San Diego starting tomorrow through Sunday. Look to our Facebook and Twitter feeds for our all updates and pictures. Someone will be kicked out of something. James and Jon will be in a Q&A. Jeff will upset someone verbally so bad they cry. And I will try the worst pick-up lines ever on any Lara Croft or Poison (as long as she’s not actually a tranny) cosplayer. Make sure to stay in touch with us though and let us know what you want to see or hear first hand about! It’s about to get weird at the con.
Alrighty nerds. As we all know, we all spend a little too much time in front of screens and read too many comic books longing for the day when we too, can be as kickass as our favorite superheroes. Well, I am hear to tell you how my nerdiness has helped whip me into shape. By no means am I ready to run a marathon, but I feel fairly confident that if I ever had to run for my life, I might just survive. Ok,
I would run 5 marathons just to frak him
Here are some people that I aspire to be as kick ass as. Create your own list!
1. Kara Thrace aka Starbuck
Like Kara, I have taken my rage/anger/sexual frustration out on my body by kicking its ass which in turn makes me feel strong enough to fuck up any toaster who looks at me the wrong way. Yes, as I am running, I picture saving Ander’s hot ass from god knows what (not that he needs saving). I also picture cylons chasing me. I swear by the lords of Kobol, it helps me run.
2. Katniss Everdeen
I don’t really need to explain this but like I said, I would like to be in shape just for self preservation sake. Also, it has inspired me to take an Archery class in the fall. Fuck yeah, self defense! ….well, it’s not like I can go around with my bow and arrows, but whatever.
Continue reading Diary of a Nerdette: How To Turn Yourself Into A Superhero..Or Just Look Like One
As I mentioned in my Thursday and Friday Comic Con schedule posts, I have to miss Saturday and Sunday due to work. Should I quit? Probably, but which one of you is going to support my alcohol intake? Trust me you don’t want that burden. I sulked quite a bit over the weekend as each day’s schedule of The Con was released, so I figured I should at least provide the panels I would have gone too each day. You only get my top 3 though because I may start crying if I have to write about more.
Sat. 10:00-11:00 After Earth
M. Night is at it again people. Hide yo kids. Hide yo wives. Hide yo dignity. I would like to think Will Smith wouldn’t agree to one of his movies that has a lame twist. Hell maybe it doesn’t even have one!
GAWD just look at those...eyes.
Doubt it though, that would be like Tyler Perry making a movie that didn’t have himself in it. At least that movie could have a chance to be funny. The plot takes place 1000 years after humans have left a ravaged planet Earth and Big Willy Style and his son crash land on it. And I do mean his actual son Jaden. Still though I’m intrigued and I’d really like to check this one out. However you’ll have to choose between this or…
Sat. 10:00-11:00 Attack of the Show
I’m sorry, but this is just a good show. One of the best hosts in Kevin and two hot nerdy awkward babes in Candace Bailey and 2010 POY Sara Underwood. Someone bring a drool rag and some tape to tuck it back. Just one picture with Sara and the week would have been worth it. Maybe play it cool, see if she wants to grab some drinks. Yea right, I’d probably be convulsing on the ground seizing from pleasure. I think I may have a shot if I pretended to have cancer and cosplay as Professor Xavier. May be taking it a bit far though.
Continue reading Comic Con 2012: Top Panels I’m Missing
In a nutshell this is just going to be live action Family Guy type full length movie just with a raunchy stuffed talking bear. Can we at least get a fight between Ted and the Snuggles bear a la Peter and the Chicken? I’m talking 6 straight minutes of a stuffed bear fight hopefully over either prostitutes or blow. If they’re doing they better not hold anything back because they have a stuffed bear on the screen. You planned on a R rating so freaking use the hell out of it. I want Bad Santa meets Superbad. Make it happen MacFarlane! Initial reviews are giving a lot of credit to Wahlberg for his comedic presence in this flick. Going to be hard to beat his comedy roles in The Happening or The Planet Of The Apes remake though. Watch those again and tell me they aren’t comedies. That’s why Mila Kunis, the angel of our time, agreed to be in this movie anyways.
We called a guy Magic Mike in high school. He had no stripping skills nor did he play hoops like Jordan. His moments were just ‘special’. Just like his moments were special I’m beginning to think Channing Tatum should be counting his special moments left too. At least Matthew McConaughey may save this story a bit, lord knows the BDNS didn’t fight his casting for a male stripper part. Pretty sure half of us would turn gay for him, mostly Jeff. Girls, just a reminder, but you can’t pleasure yourself in a movie theater. I mean you can, but you may find yourself next to a girl version of Chris Farley behind bars later that night.
Stay tuned early next week for a special Heir To The Balcony for The Amazing Spiderman!
So pretty much directly after I wrote the previous article for my Thursday schedule Comic Con released the Friday schedule and therefore the planning had to begin. For my final day at The Con (have to leave Friday night because of work on Saturday, so lame) there are some great panels that are going to appear, but if I do it right here’s what will be in store for me.
Let's face it because of these women I may not make it to any panel.
Community: School Is Back In Session – 10:00-11:00
With most of the actors there this panel is sure to at least be entertaining. The new writers are rumored to be there, but not confirmed so the Q&A about Community’s 4th season may be a little lackluster. There’s been a lot of changes to the making of this show and it’s going to be interesting to see if they even address it. I’m going to probably have to cut out a bit early of this one to catch…
Adult Swim: The Venture Bros – 11:00-12:00
I’m mostly hoping for some give outs here because I’ll take Venture merch anyday. Love the show and with the voice of Dr. Venture and the show’s two creators it could be worth it. If I have to bail on a panel today though it’ll probably be this one.
Continue reading Friday Con Schedule
The schedule was released late afternoon yesterday for preview night on Wednesday and the first full day on Thursday. I can attend until late Friday night so these are definitely my main days to fully enjoy my first Comic Con experience. Luckily I have some veterans with my so I’m not too overwhelmed and just follow around hot cosplayers all day.
Apparently this is a good night to go to, but all I see is previews for five TV shows that are releasing soon, 2 of which I’m interested in. Arrow, a show about Green Arrow, is definitely the most interesting to me. The CW is attempting this hero series which I’m very on the fence about, so hopefully this preview helps push me one way or the next. Also being discussed is Revolution, a post apocalyptic series from Bad Robot Productions (JJ Abrams), Jon Favreau, and Supernatural’s Eric Kripke. I can only hope for a Fallout type production here, but maybe I should lower my expectations. Being aired on NBC this fall I will for sure be updating the nerdosphere on this possible gem.
So this will be my hopeful schedule for Thursday at The Con. If it’s anything like my experience at Wondercon though I’ll get distracted and at least miss one of these by the main floor and all it’s goodies.
Battlestar: So Say We All – 10:30-11:30
If Jon isn’t able to make this panel than it definitely won’t be as good because I think he’d give a shot at the Q&A and really provide some entertainment here. However with BSG being one of my favorite series of all time this reunion of actors and writers has me bleeding Toaster chrome.
Continue reading Thursday At Comic Con