You lose your hat back there? Heard a kid lost his head trying to show off on that roller coaster of a movie that was Iron man 3. After perusing a ton of other reviews for this movie I can definitely say I’m stoked at the reaction it’s getting; good and bad. How’s that saying go? Bad press is good press. Yep that’s it. I love controversy (yep that Prince song too) and this flick delivers that on all levels. The following will have spoilers and I highly suggest you wait to read this article until you watch it. That said, strap up boys and girls and let’s kick this pig.
If you’re anything like me, God help you. But if you are anything like me you’ve spent years alone in your room, crying over countless love letters written to ex-girlfriends who have long since forgotten you exist. In a lonely, vulnerable state, you accepted the Mayan prophecy as truth. You reached a pale arm into the hall closet you’ve stuffed full of psychopathic ramblings, slapped some postage on the first wad of paper you found, and before you can spell regret– disaster strikes. And not the natural kind. In fact, that’s the problem. We’re all still here, damn it. The love of your life now knows, without a doubt, that you are the creeper she thought you might be. And the world didn’t even end.
She can’t un-read what’s been read, but if you’re hurting, here are some steps you can take:
• Panic. It’s a natural response. Seems like a huge mistake now, doesn’t it? But the message has been sent. Don’t deny your feelings. Realize, though, that you finally said something you mean to a person who still means a lot to you. Speculating possible outcomes will do you no good. At this point, all you can do is..
• Accept what you’ve done. Give yourself some credit. Some people spend a lifetime trying to say ‘I love you.’ You’ve written it many, many, many times, and you’ve finally shared it. Well done!
• Don’t dwell on it. After all, dwelling on feelings is what got you here in the first place. You’re allowed to be scared, angry, upset, but you can’t fixate. If you’re having trouble with this one, be a real man. Pick up the bottle and drink the pain away. If you stick with it long enough, you’ll never feel again!
• Talk with her about it. Here’s your chance to be completely honest. If she files for a restraining order, at least you’ve found closure. You don’t know how this will go until you do it. She might even feel sorry enough to give you a hug. Then, my friend, the cycle begins again.
• Move on. Your heart was made to be broken. Pick up the pieces, glue the fuckin’ things back together, and throw the patchwork organ at the next beautiful girl you see. If you can wipe your eyes long enough, you might find someone that actually likes you. Chances are high that she’s barely holding herself together and you’ll be two peas in a very isolated, lonely pod! When this one ends..
• Write another love letter. You were going to anyway, and if you followed my advice you’ve certainly earned your lonesome.
So it’s your last hours before stress kicks in and you really need to start watching your ass for zombies, asteroids, aliens, machines, nature, disease, ect. Tomorrow the apocalypse will happen and you need to be ready. Have your survival backpack ready with all the necessities; water, canned food (maybe even astronaut food), medicine, bandages, weapons, and condoms? Yes condoms, you really want to survive and then die because of full blown AIDS? I don’t think so. Anyhoo here’s you last chance of signs you should have been paying attention to this week so you could have been one step ahead of the rest of the populace and I must say there’s no much today…must be the quiet before the storm.
Maybe it leads to space exploration and aliens dominating us. We just don’t know yet.
MIT discovers a new type of magnetism. Named quantum spin liquid, QSL could lead to new ways for communications, advances in data storage, and could lead to higher temperature superconductors. Which means…I actually have no idea what it means. But they did says “the most exciting thing about quantum spin liquids is that they’re completely new, and thus we ultimately have no idea how they might eventually affect our world.” Aha! They could be destroying our world and they don’t even know it.
Crime infested Oakland fires 200 policemen while giving their sports teams $17 million extra this coming year. I mean at least the policemen could do some damage because the A’s, Warriors, and especially the Raiders sure as hell don’t. Although the Warriors are winning right now, maybe that’s a good enough sign for the apocalypse.
Asshole actors are making a movie that is completely mocking us making a movie called ‘The End of the World’. Starring Seth Rogan, James Franco, Michael Cera, Paul Rudd, Jason Segel, Danny McBride, Craig Robinson, and even Emma Watson. What a bunch of jerks. This is serious! Does look pretty funny though and they’re all using their real names. Totally dig that. Too bad we’ll never see it! Here’s the trailer for it anyways.
I will admit I’ve only seen a little bit of what the Symphony Of Science has done, but this video will give you chills. Not like scary chills or anything, but just soothing down to earth good feeling chills. I’m not going to discuss my feelings about global warming, but if you’re going to deliver a message to our generation using Bill Nye and Isaac Asimov to do it then you’re already ahead of the game. Beautiful stuff.
The man with the biggest heart and smile in Hollywood passed away yesterday at the age of 54. I don’t really know what he did besides acting, but I do know that he was just one of the actors that when you saw or heard him on screen he just made you smile. Most notably known for his award winning role in The Green Mile, I know I’ll always remember him for being an awesome Kingpin from Daredevil, Bear in Armageddon, Manute in Sin City, & his voice talents in Kung Fu Panda. If you mention Green Lantern though then you’re just an a-hole. ‘A song for a heart so big, that god couldn’t let it live.’ May angels you in, may angels lead you in.
Michael Clarke Duncan’s fiancee says the Oscar nominee for “The Green Mile” has died while being hospitalized following a July heart attack.
Publicist Joy Fehily released a statement from Clarke’s fiancée, the Rev. Omarosa Manigault, saying the 54-year-old actor died Monday morning in a Los Angeles hospital after nearly two months of treatment following the July 13 heart attack.
The 6-foot-5, 300 pound Duncan appeared in dozens of films, including such box office hits as “Armageddon,” ”Planet of the Apes” and “Kung Fu Panda.”
Duncan had a handful of minor roles before “The Green Mile” brought him an Academy Award nomination for best supporting actor. The 1999 film, based on the Stephen King novel of the same name, starred Tom Hanks as a corrections officer at a penitentiary in the 1930s. Duncan played John Coffey, a convicted murderer.
Hey nerds. Apologies for not writing lately. Hopefully this will make up for my failings as a columnist. I realized I haven’t done anything archaeology related so for all you Indiana Jones lovers, I bet you’ll dig this. Yeah, I just said that, I couldn’t help myself :)
good ol' dirty archaeology
So long story short, It turns out that the whole brick shoved up the mouth thing is a form of exorcism used frequently during the plague. The body went through many decompositional changes which were witnessed by those having to reopen burial chambers when massive amounts of people were dying with the plague. You can read about it more in the article. It’s an incredibly interesting read, if you ask me.
“Reports of vampires in graves actually describe a corpse during decomposition. The rigor mortis would have disappeared. A phenomenon called epidermolysis would be visible, in which the epidermis loosens from the underlying dermis and the nails fall off, exposing the nail beds and giving the impression of new growth. At the same time, the corpse would be going through the putrefaction stage in which the abdomen gets bloated from the build-up of gases. The decay of the gastrointestinal tract contents and lining create a dark fluid called “purge fluid” that might flow freely from the nose and mouth and could easily be confused with the blood sucked by the vampire. And if a corpse was wrapped in a shroud, putrid gases and purge fluid flowing from the mouth would moisten the cloth so that it would sink into the mouth (which would open as the muscles relaxed after rigor mortis), where the fluids would break it down. So the legend that corpse could eat through its shroud is a real observation that was interpreted without the proper medical knowledge. “
~Samir S. Patel, Archaeology Magazine
Visit the entire article which is much more informative and articulate, here:
I’ve only seen the original Total Recall once, and while I found it entertaining I was never smitten with it the way some people are. Maybe it’s the weirdness of the story, maybe it’s the weirdness of Paul Verhoeven’s direction. In any case, I was largely indifferent to the idea of a remake of the movie, especially if the director was going to be Len Wiseman, of Underworld fame. But when I saw the first trailer my interest was piqued, even if it was only because of the futuristic visuals. I’m disappointed to say that the visuals and the frenetic action scenes are the only reason this movie is watchable.
In this second take on Philip K. Dick’s short story “We Can Remember It for You Wholesale,” we find our hero, Doug Quaid (Colin Farrell) a factory worker who lives in one of two remaining “safe” zones on the planet. The rest of the world is uninhabitable after nuclear wars ravaged the surface. Quaid lives in a renamed Australia and commutes to his job in the leftovers of Europe via a gigantic elevator that goes through the planet core; one of the more ridiculous sci-fi aspects of the film, but an interesting one nonetheless.
Quaid is unhappy with his boring factory worker life and begins to consider visiting Rekall, a place that manufactures and implants fake memories. His friend Harry (Bokeem Woodbine) and his wife Lori (the insanely gorgeous Kate Beckinsale) warn him to stay away but a coworker (Will Yun Lee) convinces him it’s a good idea and recommends him to a friend who works there, McClane (John Cho).
Not only is it a slow weekend for movies, but all I get to talk about is the remake to Total Recall. Which now that I think about it I think I’ll just watch the original this weekend instead. Yes the three titted broad is back and ever hotter, but even with my raging hormones that can’t even get me to see this flick. Sure it’ll be fun and they’ll probably throw some other twist on it, but like we’ve said on the show why does this movie need a remake? Sure it was action 80′s cheeseballs, but that’s the glory of it. I’d rather see Farrell do his Bullseye character or stand in a phone booth for another 90 minutes. Ugh this is so depressing. I think karma just got me even talking about this movie because mid writing this article I got a parking ticket for parking in front of my own house. Is anyone seeing this this weekend instead of seeing Batman another time?
It is a weird feeling, knowing that you can die happily. That’s how I felt as I left the theater last night after having finally seen The Dark Knight Rises, the final chapter of Christopher Nolan’s epic and reality-based take on arguably the greatest superhero of all time. Whew! That was a wordy sentence. It will be tough knowing that there won’t be a new Batman film for a while. But can any of us really complain? I mean these Batman movies are probably more than we ever could have asked for. Especially after *shudder* Joel Schumacher… On that note, on with the review!
The Dark Knight Rises begins eight years after Bruce Wayne (Christian Bale) let Batman take the blame for Harvey Dent’s death. As a result the city passed the Harvey Dent Act which has locked up all of the mobsters without parole. Gotham seems to finally be clean leaving Commissioner Jim Gordon (Gary Oldman) as more a figurehead than anything else. In the absence of any crime and in the shadow of Rachel Dawes’s (Maggie Gyllenhaal) death, Wayne has also diminished, locking himself in his manor and becoming a limping recluse nursing his injuries. Alfred Pennyworth (Michael Caine) is forced to look on with grief, hoping that Wayne will emerge and move on.
Bale is once again stellar in the role of Bruce Wayne/Batman. He’s still charismatic, flawed, human, and badass all at the same time. He also convincing as the obsessive Bruce Wayne, the one who will stop at nothing to save his city even if it means his own health. Michael Caine’s performance is also wonderful as he puts on another acting master class.
The nerds are uniting again (not just the J Team this time) for Comic Con 2012. We will be in San Diego starting tomorrow through Sunday. Look to our Facebook and Twitter feeds for our all updates and pictures. Someone will be kicked out of something. James and Jon will be in a Q&A. Jeff will upset someone verbally so bad they cry. And I will try the worst pick-up lines ever on any Lara Croft or Poison (as long as she’s not actually a tranny) cosplayer. Make sure to stay in touch with us though and let us know what you want to see or hear first hand about! It’s about to get weird at the con.