Roger Ebert Reviews The BDNS

This is the gem of an email I came upon that we read in Episode #147. Kudos to the writer.

 

 

From: Roger Ebert
Subject: 3 Star Review
Now that I have a plethora of downtime I have immersed myself in the bowels of
horrid podcasts found within the depths of the internet. To my surprise, I found one
notable podcast just worthy of mention.

The Best Damn Nerd Show, commonly referred to as “The BDNS” or “The League of
Really Gay Friends”, consists of a motley crew of humorous, self-deprecating,
narcissists. Despite their aimless chatter, lack of original content, poor
production value, gratuitous homosexual overtones, and overall inept knowledge of
subject matter, “The BDNS” somehow provide an entertaining experience.

The show is hosted by James Kincaid. James is an able host who tries his best to
retain some sense of professionalism amid the chaotic maelstrom of circle jerks.
Unfortunately, James possesses a number of critical flaws which impede his ability
to host the podcast. For starters, he is known for his inability to use both a
keyboard and mouse while playing PC games and he’s also a well documented button
smasher. It’s evident that James is a newb and has no business discussing any video
game outside of “Hello Kitty Adventure Island”. Additionally, James revealed his
ignorance in an earlier podcast when he failed to differentiate Marvel Girl and Ms.
Marvel. It’s obvious this host doesn’t care much for lore.

Then we have another host named Jeff Budd. If James is the heart of “The BDNS”, then
Jeff is the anus. If the subject matter doesn’t pertain to Cyclops, Jamie Lannister,
H.P. Lovecraft, Magic The Gathering, or the video game “Ocarina of Time”, Jeff will
thoroughly defecate on it. I am genuinely impressed by his ability to tenaciously
sling copious amounts of verbal feces in a unique and witty fashion every week.

Chris Davis is a constant host on the podcast as well. I really don’t know much
about him. He’s rarely cognizant of his surroundings. I’m not sure if he realizes he
is part of a weekly podcast. Despite his lack of focus, I’m very fond of Chris as a
person. His tribute to my departure was extremely moving and for a brief moment in
time, he captured the hearts and sentiments of millions.

There’s also this new host, Mark the comic book guy. He is by far the only tangible
expert on the show. However, his contributions to the show remain minimal at best
due to his time as a P.O.W. locked up in a sensory deprivation chamber. As a result,
he is constantly raving over anything that remotely consists of bright colors,
contrasting shapes, or contains dialogue in any type of language; real or fictional.

The show used to have another host named Jonathon Craig. I have been informed that
he is currently on a leave of absence after he was sexually assaulted by a number of
his co-hosts.

One of the few bright spots about this podcast was the inclusion of some sort of
half-Japanese cyborg. The cyborg sounded very similar to the iconic Optimus Prime
after a few cartons of unfiltered Pall Malls. Since the unknown departure of the
cyborg, the show contains even less sound effects and musical themes than in the
past.

However, Tim Childs is a perfect example of addition by subtraction. The podcast
took a major leap forward when they banned this former host due to his dyslexic
Brooklyn accent.

Overall, “The League of Really Gay Friends” seems like just another run of the mill
podcast. The show could be vastly improved if they curbed their obsession with
adolescent teen dramas like Gossip Girls, The Arrow, and anything else from the CW.
They should also stop trying to steal original ideas from other successful shows;
specially regarding fanfic battles between iconic characters found amongst various
genres of entertainment.

Despite all the flaws, they pull out a memorable experience each week. The BDNS is
living proof that you can make an edible meal out of toxic ingredients. I give the
show 3 stars!

Sincerely,
- Roger Ebert

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Chris-Davis/500741168 Chris Davis

    “…dyslexic Brookyn accent.” I could read this over and over.