Diary of a Nerdette: God Bless You, ‘Murica

If you know me at all, you know how much I love to bash on ‘merica. Thanks to our highly respected Yahoo.com, I read an article for once that made the nerd inside me proud.  The name of the article is titled, “11 Ridiculous White House Petitions”.  While “ridiculous” is debateable language, I most definitely approve of thiz message. Anyway, the most exciting petition which made number one on the list is, according to Yahoo:

“Secure resources and funding, and begin construction of a Death Star by 2016
Those who sign here petition the United States government to secure funding and resources, and begin construction on a Death Star by 2016.
By focusing our defense resources into a space-superiority platform and weapon system such as a Death Star, the government can spur job creation in the fields of construction, engineering, space exploration, and more, and strengthen our national defense.”
Total signatures: 1,428

To sign this petition yourself, sign here, for the love of all things Star Wars!…and to also mock the government. I get too much joy from this. Anyway….CLICK. GO. NOW.

https://petitions.whitehouse.gov/petition/secure-resources-and-funding-and-begin-construction-death-star-2016/wlfKzFkN#thank-you=p

Another amazing petition with even more signatures than the Death Star proposition is:
“Build a statue of Master Chief Petty Officer Spartan John-117 on the White House lawn
“He deserves more praise for what he has done.”<—-That’s all the petition says. That’s all that really needs to be said. Good work, citizen.
Total signatures: 4,526

Here is the link to sign this petition. Get to it, nerds!

https://petitions.whitehouse.gov/petition/build-statue-master-chief-petty-officer-spartan-john-117-lawn-white-house/SlnRCpqH

How amazing would this look in Bronze?!

And finally, I can’t tell if I’m pissed off, disturbed or find this funny. I’ll go with funny now as I’m sure most of you’ll be amused. Who doesn’t love boobs and kitties right?? (That was a youtube thing, am I right?) Anywho, here is our final ridiculous petition.
10. Transfer funds from the drug war to fund the research and development of the genetic engineering of domestic cat girls

Yes, you read that right. I will just hope this is a reference to Dr. Who..

“We believe that the genetic engineering of cat girls could be potentially beneficial for the economy and an effective for use as domestic house servant. The money being used to fight the drug war is effectively pointless. We could be using this money to fund other much more important things such as the genetic engineering of cat girls for domestic use. The government could then sell these genetic household workers to boost the economy and try to further decrease the national debt. They could be used around the house so that the homeowners could pursue jobs to also boost the economy.”

Seriously, I would love nothing more to be woken up at 6:30 in the morning by my Step dad blasting Rush Limbaugh and here him bitch about how we have petitioned for a Death Star. Yes, that actually happens and hearing this would be the only pleasant experience from Rush Limbaugh at 6 fucking 30 am. Anyway, I would like to close out this article by thanking the good citizens of Amurica that realize if we must really descend into an idiocracy, then this is the way to do it. May the force, and the Lords of Kobol, be with you.  ;)

~Olive

  • http://twitter.com/olive_nerdette Olive

    oh good, you are still publishing my articles. Chris (Davis) you’re going to have to talk to me if I am going to keep writing for this site. The silent treatment is really misleading and frustrating..just saying. I won’t waste my time when I’m under the impression that you’re having nothing to do with me. Sorry to call you out via comment but you need to grow up and actually communicate.