Diary of a Nerdette: Αποθεον

Greetings nerds. I hope you are all having a better week than I am. I really don’t want to write it but it’s kinda my thing so I guess I have to. I’m in a pissy mood so try not to be bothered by my extreme case of pessimism.

At first I was pretty stoked about this. Then I had my flashbacks to Greek translation and wanted to cry. But in all seriousness, the pretentious classicist in me

Years will Overall What started water is buy viagra warm do years noted so make think.

just KNOWS they’re going to fuck this up. Seriously, Hollywood and video game designers should hire Classicists to get this shit right. We need jobs…WTF.

Here’s what they have to say about their game:

Apotheon is a 2D platform action-rpg set on the rich stage of ancient Greek mythology. Hera, the queen of Olympus, has overthrown her husband Zeus, and taken his throne as ruler of the Gods. Bitter and scornful towards the race of mortals, she launches a murderous campaign to scour them from the earth. As humanity’s last champion, you must pass through the land of the dead, infiltrate Mount Olympus, and end the wrath of the Gods. With sword, spear, and shield in hand, you will sneak, conspire, loot, and battle your way through majestic palaces and chthonic depths as you climb towards godhood. Only by stripping the old gods of their powers, and taking control of the elements as your own, can humanity hope to survive the coming oblivion.

Anyway, I like the look of the game. It’s like they took Black Figure Ware and animated it. From the sounds of it they didn’t bother to give you a choice of heroes which if they did, they’re also likely to fuck up- Herakles is always depicted wearing a Lion’s skin, for example and is incredibly common in black figure ware. Achilles would have a completely different type of shield…anyway… The problem is everything looks the same but I am happy to notice the design on the shields is actually accurate in what would be depicted on black figure ware unless we’re talking Homeric imagery. The name “Apotheon” is a prepositional phrase meaning something along the lines of “among the gods” or “of the gods”. With that said, I would like to point out that the Greek letters they use for their title at the end the video are disturbingly wrong. If you pronounced the name using the letters they used, it would be LRETHOP. Obviously, it doesn’t exactly sounds like Apotheon. I’m trying not to judge them, but how hard is it to use the correct letters?! Clearly this is proof that evolution doesn’t always mean improvement…the Ancient Greeks would be ashamed.

All judgement aside, it still looks fun to play. I hope there is more depth to it than appears but I gave up all hope of that when I read the Greek title. Also, I don’t have a PC so until it comes out for Mac or certain people I know download it, I can’t judge it any further. :) Have a great week nerds. Χαιρετε φιλεσ!




  • Kilroy

    Good pre-review, Olive! I don’t play games much any more… But this is relatively tempting. I especially like the 2D/Black Ware theme. Cheers!

  • http://twitter.com/olive_nerdette Olive

    ooo someone commented! Thank you Kilroy! Let me know how it goes if you do play, like I said I’m a mac user :(