Diary of a Nerdette: Zombie and Sex Toys?!?

I’m disappointed in myself that I didn’t come up with this originally. Oh well, there is another awesome and equally perverse person as I out in the world.

There are a lot of methods of fighting Zombies out there butthis one gets an A for creativity. Now, this method of battling would not work in the long term, but if you find yourself needing a quick escape, and happen to be in the middle of some nasty kinky sex, then this is the way to do it. Here are a series of four videos: All different ways of escaping a zombie attack with Sex toys. I know, I’m on a roll with these nerdy sex toy articles. I might have a radar for it or something. Anyway, personally, I think the right idea is there but they could definitely implement different ways, some of which I will add.

 

The blow up doll distraction is brilliant but I think there could be more there. A booby trap perhaps? Wait in hiding while the zombie is attacking the blow up doll, confused as fuck, hopefully not trying to do anything else to it…. EW. Fuck escaping! KILL the undead, brainless, rotting excuse for a man. It probably won’t take long for it to realize it isn’t actually human so that’s when you sneak up behind it, knock it out with a giant dildo and by giant I mean GIANT, or electrocute it with a vibrator if there is a water source near by.

Or you could be like this guy, and rig a bunch of vibrators as Pipe bombs. BRILLIANT. So if you happen to be a kinky mechanical engineer, you might have a slight advantage over those that are unable to make Pipe dildos. Sadly we don’t know how well this worked out for him but I’m sure the authorities would have no problem implementing this on a zombie.

 

   “Terry Allen Lester must have had some pent up feelings after breaking up with his girlfriend. Clearly. So, instead of meeting for coffee and talking it out with her like they do in fairytales, he decided to send a vibrator over to her as a gift… a vibrator rigged to be a pipe bomb.

Lester expertly placed gun powder, BB shot and buck shot from shotgun shells into a black and red wire that connected to a trigger with a battery port (in case you were wondering about the recipe — you’re welcome.) Lester thought this out extremely well, actually — at least from a mechanical engineering perspective.

Apparently, though, Lester let it slip that he was planning to bomb his ex-girlfriend to his former roommates (as ya do) and then proceeded to tell them about how he would pull the trigger once she inserted the loaded vibrator.

His little creations also weren’t that hard to find when the cops arrived at his home because he actually left behind some bags — one of which contained a box marked “Christmas Gifts.” The lethal vibrator Lester had prepared was pink and, being the hopeless romantic that he is, he had the words “Merry X-mas bitch” written on it with black marker.

Lester faces 10 years behind bars and a $20,000 fine if convicted. And he will never work in sex toys again.”
Source: http://www.ranker.com/list/the-7-craziest-_sex-toys-used-as-weapons_-stories/greg

As I was researching what other sexual devices could be employed, it opened me up to a whole new world of disgusting. Most of them you couldn’t use since you’d have to get to VERY close to them in places that well, yu just don’t want to go there. Some of them I will never be able to rid the image from my mind. But anyway, these videos should be enough to get your imagine going. God forbid a zombie should interrupt your sexual adventures. Also, A + on the comic style video. Super effective ;)

And last but not least, the final segment:

 

Props to NerdBastards for these videos