Heir To The Balcony: Dwarves & The Hoff

I know it’s been a few weeks since our last installment of HttB (doesn’t that abbreviation look like a castle? Maybe it’s just because I’ve been watching Game Of Thrones non-stop), but it’s time to bring it back with some goodies. By goodies I mean perfect movies to rip on. Let the sarcasm begin.

Snow White & The Huntsman

Mirror Mirror on the wall, why should I care about this movie at all? One reason alone really: support the new generation of dwarves. Yes midgets really need the jobs. The 80′s have come and gone and Lord of the Rings used real people so it’s been tough for them. However with Peter Dinklage taking on maybe one of my now favorite TV characters of all time on Game of Thrones I think we all should support any movie with dwarves. Unless it’s Warwick Davis, his Leprechaun movies still scare me so screw him. This movie though, ehh looks decent enough besides Kristen Stewart’s unemotional self. Plus Thor (Chris Hemsworth) get’s to kick some more ass this summer.


Piranha 3DD

To answer your first question no, no 3DD is not a new form of 3D. I know, I looked it up. To answer your second question which you probably just figured out yes, yes this is a sequel to Piranha 3D and no I will probably never see this movie even with all those 3D jiggling chesticles. If you want a reason (or need one to convince your stoned friends) to see this movie then I’ll give you three names; David Hasselhoff, Christopher Lloyd, & Gary Busey. To answer your question now (jeez I feel like an Asian in math class giving you all the answers(that’s not racism, just straight facts from the History channel)) yes all these actors are in this movie. I’ve also now decided to show you the trailer because…wow, just wow. I particularly like the part where a Piranha is attached to a girls neck on the water slide. Why? Because the movie takes place in a water park. Shoot me with your attachable gun leg now…you’ll see.