Heir To The Balcony: Space Prison!!!

Okay I was just going to review Guy Pearce’s ‘Lockout’ because I completely forgot about ‘Cabin in the Woods’. So you get two this week. Yea I’m that gracious. If you expected one for ‘The Three Stooges’  then just f#@$ you. Seriously I would never be your friend and you don’t want that. I’m kind of a big deal and as Xerxes puts it, “I am kind.”

Lockout

This movie just looks like plain fun and reminds me of one of my favorite characters, Snake Blissken from Escape From New York. Maybe it’s just because this movie is that movie, but it deals with a space prison. Yea we’re talking about the 8×8 cell that would be great to house all our Trekkie friends. So pretty much the plot is the president’s daughter goes and visits this space prison and in that time the authority has changed sides. Why would a president’s daughter go to this place? I have no idea nor would it seem plausible in any situation. That said this movie looks fun and witty as hell. Just check out the first 5 min. So grab the dudes and go see The Rock, but in space. Shyamalan twist, the inmates all turn out to be aliens!

 

Cabin In The Woods

So when the trailer 1st released this looked like an extremely shitty horror story and had us all wondering what the hell Thor was doing in this movie. Over the last month however, this horror movie has shown signs of government conspiracy and some pretty Silent Hill-like creatures. Not only that, but on Rotten Tomatoes it has a 90% right now. You know how hard that is for a horror movie to do? This movie is getting a lot of hype right now and I got to say I’m intrigued. You know me though, add a conspiracy to a story and I’m just waiting to be fed more. Not saying I’m going to pay for it, but I’ll sneak into it after Lockout for sure.