Underrated/Overrated Nerdosphere Review #1

By Justin Schneyer, “GayFloridaNerd”

The opinions (facts, really) presented here do not represent the opinions (facts, really) of the hosts of the Best Damn Nerd Show, but rather the insane ramblings of a nerdy, underslept homosexual who is exceedingly frustrated and exhausted from a weekend of performing in a musical about pee. This is the first of his weekly rantings. He swears he is a better writer than this. But he missed his first deadline. So yeah… word vomit:


Count Dooku- If you think that Darth Maul is more badass than Darth Tyranus because he had a double-bladed lightsaber and silly face paint, you are in serious need of a Force-slap to the face. Let’s look at the facts: Count Dooku is decades ahead in terms of experience, power, lightsaber skill, and fashion sense. That cape is freakin’ gorgeous, easily making him the best looking of all the Sith, excluding pre-magma Vader. And for those of you who think this is unimportant, may I remind you how many hours are spent on WOW designing your characters’ wardrobes? Yeah. It’s a big.                                                                                                                Fuckin’. Deal.

Leaving behind the silver-foxiness of this Sith lord, let’s look at his power. He can use Force-lightning! I don’t remember seeing Vader do that shit with his T-800 hands, or Darth Maul using it to fry Obi-Wan. Why’s that? Because Dooku’s insanely powerful! In the expanded universe, Dooku was Qui-Gon Jin’s master, and he was a personal padawan to Yoda. Now after doing some extensive research online, I can’t seem to find any Jedi Universities out there. But if there were, you can’t tell me Dooku wouldn’t be valedictorian. He was trained personally by mutha’fuckin’ Yoda! Mutha’fuckin’badass, mutha’fucka!!!

So he’s dashingly handsome, charming, well bred (he’s a COUNT), and powerful enough to hold his own against Yoda himself. And let’s not forget Dooku was a fencer, and maintained “the old ways” of lightsaber combat. So while he was more susceptible to blaster fire, there was not a Jedi out there short of Yoda and a dark-side infused Skywalker who could have touched him with their modern sword fighting techniques.

Now what about influence and effect on the Star Wars Universe? Remember something called “The Clone Wars”? Yeah. He did that. Was he the second-in-command to Darth Sidious? Yes. But there is NO WAY on Greedo’s green head that Sidious could have done this alone. Dooku was the leader of the Separatist movement. The Jefferson Davis of Mustafar if you will. He had immense armies at his disposal, armies that could be RE-BUILT, and with just about every chamber of commerce and corporate-galactic bankroll at his disposal.

Sidious may have been the behind-the-scenes puppet-master of the war with indirect manipulation, but Dooku had palpable control. Of course you’re going to say “But hey, Dooku got scissored by Anakin, and Dooku was only a place-holder anyways”. Yes, very true. But let’s examine this, shall we? Skywalker only killed Dooku because Skywalker tapped into the dark side when pushed and unhinged by Palpatine’s insistence. There’s a word for that: sucker punch. A surprise attack is a surprise attack. They work because… yeah. They’re not expected. Dooku was caught off-guard by a treacherous Darth Sidious. And for good reason: Anakin WAS destined to become even more powerful than any Sith before him. But he wasn’t quite there yet. He was an INVESTMENT. Dooku may have been a placeholder at the time, and he may have been killed in a moment of surprised weakness, but he was easily the more powerful Force-wielder, and ultimately the most powerful Sith apprentice that Palpatine would ever have. Vader got all angsty and melted, thus becoming yet ANOTHER placeholder until a better, less tarnished model of Skywalker would appear in “A New Hope”. When all is said and done, the best Sith apprentice, and one of the greatest of the Jedi, was Count Dooku (AKA Darth Tyranus, which, by the way, is the most badass name of all the Sith)



Batgirl: She’s a girl. She’s not Tim Drake. She dresses as a bat. She gets shot. She sits in wheelchair. She’s not Tim Drake. The end.











I like Tim Drake.

(This post was NOT proofread to the author’s standards)