The Nerdification Of A Dame

I Find My Lack Of Nerd Knowledge…Disturbing.

One of my favorite quotes has always been “Always do sober what you said you’d do drunk” Hemingway. So the other night when I was posed with the challenge of nerdification I readily accepted.

I found blue on me for weeks.

The Challenge:

The challenge, from what I remember, is I have till Comic-Con 2012 to try out the most nerdy activities and to find my nerd niche. Every week, the nerd royalty or the “Best” Damn Nerds will present me with another nerd challenge for the week. I will attempt to complete the challenge and write about my experiences, victories, shame, and failures in this blog.  By the end I hope to be a more well rounded person because of my new found nerd knowledge, have a kick ass costume and alias for Comic-Con, and to get in a nerd battle with one of the biggest geeks I can find there. I will likely not come out with a “W” but I at least hope I can be an admirable and knowledgeable contender.

Challenge #1: Assess My Nerdiness As Of Day One.

Before I could judge my nerd status I needed a working definition that could act as a scale on which to evaluate myself. So the boys agreed on the following definition of                                                                                    what makes someone a huge nerd.

A Nerd- any one who has one or many things he/she is crazy/obsessed about that he/she will not likely tell someone on the first 3 dates.

I know what you are thinking… that is the most broad definition ever or that you wear your LARP armor on all first dates because if she cant get down to the sounds of battle cries, clanking metal, and elf ears then you want no part of it. JK.  No not JK Rowling you nerds.  The broad definition makes us all at risk of crossing over into the feared nerd territory.  But I digress, so how nerdy am I?

I have had art history dreams in which I am just browsing through art history flash cards endlessly. I call these dreams and not nightmares because they aren’t. Somehow flipping through the cards brings me to a strange state of clam. I have always considered this the nerdiest thing I have ever been a part of.

I guess art history is just the tip of the iceberg.Nerd Confessions:
I’m in a fantasy book club. I wouldn’t call it a fantasy book, book club but some other members might. We also play board games to decide who get sot pick the next book. I think I like Yatzee way too much. I could play it every day for the rest of my life.I get Martha Stewart Living, Bon Appetite, and Smithsonian magazine delivered to my house every month and I read them cover to cover. Based on these magazine selections some higher power started sending me AARP monthly thinking it would be right up my alley. Fail.

Slave Leia?! Psh, these girls better step their game up!

In 5th grade I did a school report on the only 2 mammals that lay eggs and for extra credit slash fun (no one suggested I do this) I came to school dressed as the animals the day the report was due. I have a photo somewhere that I should probably burn so it never sees the light of day again.

I’ve read over 3 Dan Brown books. I’m judging myself right now.

All my DVDs are in alphabetical order and I get pissed when people fuck that order up.

I love logic games. Like the… if Ann, Bob, Carl, and Dan go to the store and they each buy one thing.. who left with what and in what order. I buy LSAT practice books just so I can do the logic games.

I used to play a made up power rangers games every day after school in like 3rd grade. This was also the period in time when I used to make paper outfits out of construction paper and wear them downs the halls. Eeps shit just got real ha.

I have watched every episode of the U.K. Top Gear at least once and have a secret (well now not so secret) crush on James May.  On a side note I have been hunting for a James May like shirt preferably in purple paisley if any one can help me out with that.

I used to read civil war cards. Its probably best if I don’t elaborate on this subject.

Bedazzling and cosplay is going to go great together.

I own two BeDazzlers. I also have had the BeDazzler hotline in my phone for about 7 years, just in case I have a BeDazzler emergency. Anyone who knows me knows I have an obsessive need to have sparkly things in my life. I am slowly becoming aware of the fact that this is not normal. I guess it is things like this that make me a huge dork and more inclined to be attracted to nerdy things. I’m thinking I could totally get down with cosplay (I had to look up what this meant after one of the boys sent me what appeared to the untrained nerd eye to be Tomb Raider porn).

I believe the Loch Ness monster exists and get really excited whenever there is an episode about Nessy on the discovery or history channel.

I could obviously go on and embarrass myself more but I will save some humiliation for the challenges that await me. Bring it on boys.

Until next week my future fellow nerds

Emily the Honey Badger over and out.