A New Year…

Has begun. I spent the first night of that year watching tapes of wrestling, just because the nostalgia is inspiring. Watching Earthquake, Bret Hart, Jim Duggan, Ricky Steamboat and many others compete, despite already knowing all of the outcomes, is afar more entertaining to me than 98% of wrestling on television now. I find myself keeping up with Raw (and Smackdown if I am actually home and not working on a Friday night) so that when I watch the Royal Rumble on the 29th I won’t be sitting there wondering who half those guys are. Same goes for Wrestlemania. So, even though I apparently didn’t have a good enough resume to get my dream job at Titan Tower in lovely Connecticut, I am going to throw out a few idaes that I feel would really help the WWE and maybe turn those 2.5 and 3.0 rating shares back into the 5′s and 6′s that they were getting all the time during the Monday Night Wars.

And yes, I say strictly WWE. With Dixie Carter not knowing a damn thing, Russo at the helm and Hogan supplying the money, there is no way TNA will be anything more than the B show.

1.) End the Undertaker’s Undefeated Streak at Wrestlemania – Or just let the guy retire outright. It was neat when it was at 10-0. It was getting old at 15. Now it’s just ridiculous. I’ve been a follower of the deadman since 1990, and loved watching him beat down the biggest and the baddest. But keeping him around feeds into the thing I feel should change most of all.

2.) Forget the old talent – Most of the fans of the WWE today don’t even really know what the Kliq is, and some weren’t even alive for the biggest breaking of kayfabe other than the Montreal Screwjob. So why are we using HHH and Nash as headliners? The Game has had quad surgery to both legs, and Nash is infamous for getting injured every 10 months. These men are in their 40s. Let’s take guys a little younger and officially pass the torch. I would much rather watch Evan Bourne and Kofi Kingston fly high off the top rope or CM Punk use his brawling, submission style instead of watching men in their 40s daintily use their signatures back and forth and hope not to hurt each other.

3.) Change Cena – I honestly don’t know what the best way would be, but right now this “Rise Above Hate’, the unbeatable, roster buryer Will Smith of professional gimmick is destroying the already fragile, inconsistent fan base. His rapper persona may have been one dimensional, but at least it worked. And it’s completely ridiculous that he completely buries everyone on the roster. He used to win 3 on 1 handicap matches. Congrats CM Punk, Luke Gallows and Brocas… together you are a little bit better than John Cena, if you cheat.. and he’s already hurt.

4.) Change the Divas division – It’s a known fact that Vince Russo is a complete and utter failture. The way he used to hire women in wrestling would be looking through female underwear catalogues and picking the real hot ones. Some of the most talented wrestlers aren’t necessarily the prettiest; Awesome Kong, ivory, Jacqueline and of course the late legendary Luna Vachon. Hire women who can actually wrestle who might almost be hot instead of really hot women with minute athleticism.

5.) Managers – Remember those? Bobby the Brain Heenan, Jimmy Hart, Paul Bearer, James E. Cornette… they added a new dimension to the match. Granted, sometimes it was annoying to have the matches consistently end with interference, but they added a new dimension to the matches. Nowadays there aren’t any managers that don’t look good in a dress (ok so Vicki Guerrero is arguable, but still, point made).

That’s just a start. If they are able to do this, maybe I won’t put it on mute anymore.

Members of the WWE Universe… what say ye?

  • M Tellini

    this was good but as much as i hate to say it and the kid inside of me hates me for it but wrestling is dead and gone.and theres no going back.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Chris-Davis/500741168 Chris Davis

    It never had a heartbeat in my lifetime. I think James is finally coming to as well.